The power of blockages and family beliefs - an analogy with the domesticated elephant

Have you ever been in a situation where you tell yourself that something isn't possible and someone just goes and does it? Have you ever found yourself thinking “I can't do something” or “I'll never succeed no matter what I do”? Well, if you feel that some things are very challenging and that you have blockages in some area of your life, carry on reading.

When protection and care become a blockage

As children, we grow up in a family environment where various limitations and impositions are placed on us. At the time, many phrases were said as a form of protection and affection, but these can become limitations at other stages of life.

We hear phrases like: “You can't do that”, “that's bad”, “that's not something a good girl/boy should do”. At other times we may also hear things like “you can't do it”, “it's too heavy/difficult/complicated for you”, “you're not capable”, among others. We often don't realize it, but in a way this can sneak into our psyche.

Carl Jung explores a term in analytical psychology that comes from anthropology called “participation mystique”, where the individual can't distinguish themselves very clearly in relation to the object. As children, we often become very identified with what our parents tell us, and this effect can last into adulthood, even in their absence, and so we can grow up like elephants tied to a rope.

The analogy with the elephant tied to a rope

As a youngster, the elephant is tied to a thick rope and a stake firmly planted in the ground, from which it tries countless times to break free, but it can't because it's not strong enough yet.

Even after a while, when he has developed but is still young, he continues to struggle to free himself from that condition. Still, little by little he realizes that even if he continues, he won't be strong enough and at a certain point he may get the feeling that he will never be stronger than the rope and gives up his initiatives.

This level of domination becomes so great that when it reaches adulthood, the elephant still remembers how much energy he spent trying to free himself. Still, at this point, the tamer can even tie him to a thin piece of rope with a broomstick and he will no longer try to free himself.

The conditioning of adult life and the therapeutic process

Just like the story of the elephant, many people reach adulthood repeating patterns without questioning them. Sometimes we stop daring to push our limits, because at other times we end up being repressed and thus live out beliefs that something is not allowed or possible for our lives.

In the therapeutic process, these “beliefs” are challenged, questioned and analyzed. It is like within the analytical process, the therapist acts as a person who encourages the elephant to try again and see that the rope is no longer able to stop it. With this, the person who grew up in an atmosphere that carried restrictions can confront them to expand their limits and go further.

And it's clear that many of the things we heard as children served some purpose and even had a protective bias, but may have left marks that block potential in adult life, so it's important to question what our ties are.

Do you feel this way? Tell me in the comments below and if you feel limited in any area of your life, get in touch to schedule a therapeutic appointment. Who knows, maybe you're about to free yourself from a rope that prevents you from going further in your own life.

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